Selasa, 02 Maret 2010

Ribbons

I love ribbon and I think they can dress something up. Some people collect ribbon and ribbon spools. To store ribbons you can use boxes that have grommets that form ribbon holes. You can use a piece of plastic gutter as a shelf to hold ribbon spools. You can use a dowell to hold ribbon spools.

But how do you use all that ribbon? I did a Google search and saw some great things! I tried to pick out different levels of expertise, from simple to complicated. My favorites are the ribbon flowers and the ribbon work. It shows such an artistic beauty. It's so feminine.

This is a beautiful necklace made of plaited ribbon.




How about a cute bracelet?


Trim a purse.




Make ribbon flowers and then use them to embellish hats, purses, pillows. Add a pin back to it and use it as a pin.
















Bookmarks






Barrettes








Embellish shoes








Ribbon Wreaths












Ribbon pillows







Ribbon placemats






Trim lampshades





Ribbon work








Scarves


Trimming a baby bib


Trim an apron


Trimming towels


A quilted ribbon wall hanging


Trim bedding and linens


Trimming shades


Odd Keyword Searches


People find this blog by a variety of means. (And God bless those Google boys.) But regardless as to which search engine they are using (and the majority of the time, it is a search engine), they have to put in keywords to find what they're looking for. As I have a little program called Stat Counter which keeps track of a multitude of things for me here at the blog, I am privy to what the keywords are that people are searching for. It's usually pretty easy to tell what's in the news on certain days because a lot of searches will have keywords pertaining to a hot news item. But other days, the search keywords just look like a cornucopia of crap with a one way ticket straight to this blog. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm going to share with you some of the search terms that brought folks here yesterday. Let's begin.

I had two requests for "rachel raye naked red tube". I don't even know what in the hell that could possible mean. Red tube? I can assume that they mean the cute and perky little cooking chick, Rachel Ray, but I have no idea what in the world the "red tube" is referring to. I can't even guess. Whatever. I certainly hope that this blog post helped them out: The Possibility of the Misperception of Scarves

I had a couple of chicken queries yesterday. One was for "chicken says weatherforcast". (Thank God that people don't need to know how to spell, nor separate words in order to find this blog.) The other was for "one legged chicken". Oddly enough, both of those inquiries were likely directed to this post: Today's News - Now With Chickens!

I receive an unimaginable number of hits from people looking for whores in London. Whores in London. Hookers in London. Prostitutes in London. People want to pay for sex when they're in London, that's for sure! Cheap whores in London. Cheapest hookers in London. Oddly enough, I get almost no inquiries for things like "How to tell if I'm riddled with chlamydia after a trip to Europe." Almost never. But I have gotten plenty of mileage, thanks to the wonderment that is the European hooker, out of this post: Economical Hookers In London. (In fact, if you Google "hookers in london" the first result will be this blog! That's a fact that brings me an equal amount of pride and shame at the same time.)

There's not a day that goes by that someone doesn't inquire as to whether or not Annette Funicello is dead. I don't know why that is. Seriously. No other celebrity on my end of things has had their mortality wondered about than Annette Funicello. I cannot explain it. Nope. Can't even come close. And the post that folks are directed to, Who Are These People & Why Are They Hot?, isn't really going to help you understand that either. But I'm here to tell you, she's alive. And I'm also here to tell you, you'll know when she's dead.

Sometimes the search terms just make me laugh. There was "i got tricked to pose nude on chatroulette" that just made me howl with laughter. Really? Tricked? By a computer? Man, do I want to know the back story on THAT one. What really has me confused is that came up not once, but twice. There are at least TWO morons out there who, inexplicably, took off their clothes with their webcam activated as they were logged onto Chat Roulette. Wow. Who are you people? And why are you looking to blogs for what to do about what ails you? Put your damn clothes on and read a book, for cryin' out loud! "what do you mean by nope" was another one that was quite a head scratcher for me. What does that even mean? Nope means nope! Nope! It's not like it's all cryptic or anything. It means nope! Odd, yet hilarious.

Look, the point to all of this is that regardless as to how you found this blog and whether or not you found it with or without your clothes on, I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks

Senin, 01 Maret 2010

J's Theater's Fifth Anniversary + Skyping in Class + N/olympics

Somewhere around the middle of last week, this blog reached its FIFTH ANNIVERSARY! It's hard for me to believe that five years have passed since I began writing here, in late February 2005, primarily as an experiment (a blog post every day, for a year), but they have. The posts have dwindled in recent years as I've had more heaped on my plate, but I always treasure the exchanges with readers that have occurred, and appreciate everyone who still is motivated, even occasionally to drop in.

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As I was originally typing this entry, I'm figuratively floating high above a certain midwestern city. I say this because I was able, for the first time, to seamlessly integrate Skype into one of my courses, and it worked without a hitch! As part of my "Situation of Writing" class, I thought it would be nice to have the course's current students speak with a fairly recent university graduate who's working in publishing, and one of them, poet, fiction writer and critic Jeannie Vanasco, graciously agreed to do so.  An assistant editor at Lapham's Quarterly, and and formerly worked for TriQuarterly, The Poetry Foundation, and the Paris Review, Jeannie also took this course when she was an undergraduate major (in both the poetry and fiction tracks), and I thought she might have some great and useful insights to offer the students.  She did. The hurdle I foresaw, however, was the technology; while I regularly incorporate a host of electronic and online technological components into my courses--from using Blackboard for discussion groups, as a library, and as a posting site, to subject-specific blogs in the past, to Twitter now--and while I have used PowerPoint slides and still images, and screened streaming films (we'll be watching Martin Ritt's great film about the blacklist period, The Front, starring Woody Allen, next week), and last spring even utilized lots of YouTube clips, this was the first time I'd tried Skype.  It worked perfectly. We were able to see Jeannie clearly and without any onscreen pixillation and few sync issues.  She also was able to hear most of the questions the students asked without a problem and her voice came through without distortion.  This has me very excited about using this for future classes, including one next quarter. I know it's old hat to some, but I felt like this was a huge step and am still very cheered by it.

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The 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver are now over, and, perhaps for the first time that I can recall, I didn't watch a complete broadcast of any events after the opening night stadium entry of the athletes; I may have caught a few snippets when changing the channels or clips on the news, but unlike in prior years, I didn't sit through hours of speedskating, bobsledding, the alpine skiing events, an ice hockey match, or any figure skating. When I noticed people tweeting about Johnny Weir's fanciful costumes, I had to look online because I'd missed the performance in real time.  I note my not-watching not to feel superior or register my alienation, though perhaps a bit of the latter is part of the mix, but just to point out how much I think my own interests and patience have changed. The narcissistic, jingoistic, and at times saccharine human-interest coverage of NBC's commentators, coupled with the tape delays for maximum advertising impact, were bad enough, but it also seemed to be the case that, despite the horrific death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, the Olympic Committee and games organizers were more interested in getting on with things than seriously and realistically addressing the problems with that venue and others (such as some of the alpine hills, where a dangerous bump at the bottom of the downhill course initially led to devastating crashes among the women's elite skiers).  Perhaps this was just my perception, and I realize a lot of money was riding on these games happening and not being delayed or postponed at all, a death or two or none. And I'm aware that any participating in lugeing or alpine skiing or any other similar sport realizes the perils involved.  I also realize that NBC, having paid billions, has the right to feature the games however they want, and if it's Bob Costas mocking countries' outfits or freestyling with mind-numbing digressions, so be it. Nevertheless,  Kumaritashvili's death and the daily athlete-and-medal hype, which extended into newspaper accounts, left bad tastes that I could not get past. (Yes, the US won the most medals, and Russia's poor showing has sent President Dmitri Medvedev into a tizzy; Canada, however, led in golds, a nice home victory.) I debated whether I should watch yesterday's Canada vs. US ice hockey final, and decided not to, only to learn that it was a thriller. But I don't feel I missed anything, even if the US had won. In 2 years the summer games will be in Rio de Janeiro and in 4 years time there'll be another Winter Games, in Sochi, Russia, and all of the hoopla that beset Vancouver will be forgotten, though, I hope, not Kumaritashvili and his very sad, preventable death.

No @#$&!?* Cussing?!

There's a whole lot of problems going on in California right now. The unemployment rate for the state is hovering somewhere around 12.7. The budget is far from balanced. The state is going broke. The population of illegal immigrants in this state is sky high. And corruption abounds up there in the State Capitol. So with all of that going on, I'm having a really hard time grasping why it is that the California State Assembly passed a resolution making the first week of March "Cuss Free Week". Wait. What now?

Correct. Cuss Free Week. I swear. Now, if you're asking yourself what the #$*! Cuss Free Week is, well, are you in for a surprise. Granted, just because it was passed by the @#*&$! State Assembly doesn't guarantee that it's going to happen. It still have to be passed by the &*%#@ Senate for it to go into effect. But that's not really the crux of my anger over this stupid #*$&%* idea. My anger stems from BS like this getting passed at all.

Why is this $&*@#& necessary?! Don't get me wrong. I like the idea of everyone not cussing. I am not a fan of the swearing (even though I can do so like a sailor). It makes me insane when people are swearing and there are young children around. They don't need to hear that. No one does, really. But that doesn't mean that I want some sort of stupid ass legislation passed as what will amount to nothing more than a free good measure at best. Let's see how this line of BS got started, shall we?

It would seem that the whole idea was inspired by a one McKay Hatch who founded a No Cussing Club at his middle school two years ago. Apparently the feel good idea took off and now his website, Nocussing.com, boasts that there are over 35,000 members worldwide. That's great, I suppose. I will definitely give kudos to McKay for getting this movement started. I'm sure he's been beaten up more times than I can imagine over this (and numerous other things I'm guessing). But let's be realistic. 35,000 worldwide? Listen, there's a Facebook page called "Can this pickle get more fans than Nickleback?" Do you know how many people are a fan of that pickle? 1,529,277 right now as I'm writing this. Over one and a half million folks are a fan of that particular pickle. That is over 43.5 times the number of people worldwide in the No Cussing Club. I'm not trying to diss the No Cussing Club, I'm just trying to put it in effing perspective is all.



The California bill (which is ACR 112. Remember that because you won't find it in any other article you read about this crap, which is why I had to look it up. Can't the Legislature pass a "No Crappy Media Reporting Week"? My God, at least that might get something done.) was written up by Assembly Members Portantino and Smyth. If you are a California voter, please make note of those two names and vote against them when they are up for re-election. We cannot continue to have them in the Assembly wasting the taxpayers money and time on garbage like this. Portantino and Smyth. Don't forget. Out!

Wait. I just read the final version of the bill. There are other co-authors that have climbed aboard this s**t-train. The other coauthors of this piece of crap are: Assembly Members Jones, Solorio, Adams, Beall, Bradford, Caballero, Chesbro, Coto, Emmerson, Eng, Evans, Fong, Furutani, Galgiani, Gilmore, Hayashi, Huffman, Jeffries, Bonnie Lowenthal, Ma, Mendoza, Niello, Nielsen, V. Manuel Perez, Salas, Skinner, Audra Strickland, Swanson, Torlakson, Torres, Torrico, Tran, Villines, and Yamada. Make a note. Print this out. Vote these folks out of office when that time comes! What a bunch of softheads.

Basically, all the bill does is give you a bunch of flowerly prose on why cussing is bad and how a bunch of people have decided to follow McKay's suggestion and not cuss. It also goes on to say that for the No Cussing Week, that businesses or whatever else you are should have a jar with a label on it available in a public place. That way, if you are guilty of screaming "You stupid M-F-er!!" when the mail clerk mixes up your mail again, you put some monetary amount in the jar. The bill then suggests that at the end of the week, the amount in the jar be donated to a charity. A charity!?

The M-F-ing state is going M-F-ing broke!! And you *!#&^?$#s want to go the money to a bleeping charity?! Why in the world isn't it going back to the M-F-ing bankrupt state?! For cryin' out loud, what is wrong with you a-holes?!

But then I started thinking about it. What if I did want to stop cussing? My BFF has given up cussing for Lent. (It's not going all that great, by the way. Sorry, friend! Heart you!) And she has some spectacular cuss hybrids that she tends spout out when needed. And they are spec-tacular. What is she supposed to use instead? I figured that McKay's website, being as he's so into this being so important and all, would have some suggestions. And I was right. It did have some suggestions. For a price. What the $*?#!@?
That's right. He wants to charge you two bucks to download his e-book which seems to be titled "Oh, Pickles! Sassafras! Barnacles! & other G-rated substitutes for cuss words". I guess you get the three on the cover for free. It claims to have over 100 others inside, but you're going to need to pony up two effing dollars if you want to know those. What a scam.

If you'd like to read this stupid-#$@&^! bill you can find it here. I could go off on a tangent about how something like this could be interpreted as the government trying to censor the people in a land which is ruled by it's First Amendment, that of the right to free speech. I could go off on that tangent. But I'm not going to. That's because I'm way too irate about the Assembly wasting time and money (Good God, how much money is this thing going to cost?!) with something that is feel-good at best. There are REAL PROBLEMS out there to be solved!! Do they need a list?! I'll give them a list and I won't even charge them two bucks for it!!